NHL Beardoffs winner for Most Unkempt and Best Beard: Dustin Penner

This is by far the most disgusting beard we’ve seen during the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs.  Penner’s beard glistened from the sweat, carried remnants of his previous meal and reminded us all of 70s porn.  But, it also made him look pretty bad ass at times, and that’s not a bad thing when you’re battling for a win. Plus it was pretty cool that he let his fans vote on how he should shave his beard.  Someone call the Casting Agent for Sons of Anarchy, stat. 

NHL Beardoffs winner for Sketchiest Beard: Dustin Brown

We shuttered at every glimpse of this beard.  It’s patchy, curly, there’s a tinge of ginger, the length is inconsistent and quite frankly, it makes the Captain look like a hillbilly.  This is one beard we’re not sad to bid adieu to. 

So many smiles, so much hair. The best beards won.

NHL Beardoffs winners to follow tomorrow…

NHL Beardoffs Faceoff: Brought to you by the colour Greene

Well this is easy…Matt, you’re a shade too ginger for my taste.

WIN: Andy Greene, on account of not being a ginge.

NHL Beardoffs Faceoff: The Veterans

Here we have Alexei Ponikarovsky and Simon Gagne, both 32.  While Gagne has full coverage, his competitor fails to fill in the cheeks.  HOWEVER, maybe it’s strong bone structure or my preference of blond beards, but I’m thinking Poni has the edge here.

WIN: Ponikarovsky and his 32-year-old baby face

NHL Beardoffs Faceoff: Tha Carter(s)

I want to disqualify Jeff Carter for growing a beard prior to the Playoffs, but judging by the growth since day 1, it’s easy to see he’d have Ryan beat, hands down. 

WIN: Jeff Carter